??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
