If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Randomize
