i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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