sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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