i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
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