I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
