sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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