you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
