He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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