i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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