conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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