i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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