hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
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