You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
we have officially lost it.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
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