Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Green mimosas i think yes
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
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