PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
