your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize