woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
