My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
