So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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