Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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