There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
