O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
