If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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