Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
