At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
