yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
