I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
