Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
