he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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