I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Randomize
