I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Randomize
