im gay
i know
yea but for you.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I have tasted many bathrooms
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize