Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Randomize
