I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
