i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
