Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
