What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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