There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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