I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
