i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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