My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
