Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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