Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
True college students do jello shots in the library
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