You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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