My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
