I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize
