wanna go halves on a baby?
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
