I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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