i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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