did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
