So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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