i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize