I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
