The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
