"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
