oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Randomize
