I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
