You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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