he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
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