I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize