maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i just google imaged poop.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
