When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
