Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Randomize
