i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
