It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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